Tears of Reality: It never goes away
by koji3
Summary: R for subject matter Akane's past experience comes back to haunt her. on hold indefinitely
1. the dreams return

Hello everyone, this is my first fanfic i have every written and actually posted so sorry for any mistakes. Oh! I'm under the name koji on fanfiction.net incase anyone wanted to know. Hope you enjoy! 

Chapter 1 – The dreams return

------------ Akane's POV------------

On a gasp I woke up. I was covered in sweat and I couldn't breath. I felt trapped as I looked around my room. Biting my hand all I could think was ' Why? Why now after all this time?' I couldn't seem to calm down. I could still feel his hands on me as I screamed..... the feeling of being suffocated wouldn't leave.

I closed my eyes as I felt the familiar pain of being violated and the revulsion of being so weak that I hadn't been able to stop him. "No! I can't go back! I'm stronger than that now." I whispered to myself as I desperately tried to believe that. 

Getting out of my bed I went to the window. I could still feel the feelings from my dream around me. Looking outside I realized I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep tonight. Every time I closed my eyes I could see his face. Always loaming over me...smiling....

'WHY NOW!' I mentally screamed. I had finally moved on with my life. I had thought it was finally over...and yet he was still haunting me in my dreams...again. On a sigh I looked at my clock.' Great,' I thought silently . It was 3:42, sighing again all I could think was that it was going to be a long night.

------------

It was mourning already. I got up from my desk and went to get ready for school.. After I had showered and dressed I went downstairs to eat breakfast before I left. As I reached my door I froze. I could here a male voice shouting. For a moment I remembered the dream, his face flashed so clearly in front of me and then I remembered that we now had two (three or so counting all their 'friends') freeloading houseguests. Feeling relieved I opened my door and went downstairs.

----------------

Had I been so stupid as to believe that everything would be alright? Ranma it seems that you were right whenever you called me stupid. If only I had known...then I would never have left my room. If only I had.....but it's to late to undo the past. All we can do is live in the present and hope we can fix our mistakes. If we can ever make things right. That was lesson I had learned the hard way. I closed my eyes as I felt the tears come again. All I could think about was how I had embarrassed myself at breakfast.

(flashback)-----------

Everything had been going well. I had even calmed down enough to be able to joke around with Ranma. Then he had reached out and had grabbed my arm when I had threatened to hit him. He had just made me so angry, but when I felt his hand on me I felt my dreams come back and all I could see was his face. Smiling....always smiling.

Without thinking I shrunk into myself and whimpered.

"Please," I whispered," please don't hurt me. Please." 

I started to sob uncontrollably and muttering over and over again for him to stop...to leave me alone.

"Akane?" I heard Ranma's shock and snapped out of the trance I had been in. Startled I looked around and saw everyone looking at me surprised. Then I saw the realization on Kasumi's face. Without a word I got up an ran.

--------------(end flashback)

After that the rest of the day went by without any problems. Everything seemed back to normal again. That is except during those moments I caught Ranma starring at me with a frown on his face

I had felt so confident that I wouldn't have the dream again. I close my eyes as I go to bed.A dream that is always the same. After a few minutes I feel myself fall asleep. A dream that never ends. I really am stupid after all Ranma. A dream that always starts the same......

\\\\\\\\\dream\\\\\\\\\ 

__

I was walking down a street. It was dark out tonight, but I don't mind. I start to hum off beat to a tune I had heard on the radio. I feel the breeze swirl around me and can't help but smile. Then out of no where I feel someone's hand cover my mouth. I try to escape only to be pushed against the wall. Hard. Struggling I push against him but he is too strong. I watch in horror as he smiles at me. I try to scream as one of his hands leave my mouth, but he just hits me and moves his hand lower and lower...

His skin feels cold as it touches me. His hand moves under my skirt until it reaches my panties. Then his hand tugs at the thin fabric and pulls them down. I feel panic and keep trying to make him stop only to have my head slammed against the wall again and again until I can't think any more. His other hand leaves my mouth and he reaches down. I can hear the sound of his pants being unzipped. My mind foggy I can't understand what is happening. All I can see is his face, smiling at me. I feel his cold hand move up my body as he rips off my clothes. I feel tears gathering in my eyes and try to stop him, but my body won't move................

\\\\\\\\\\end dream\\\\\\\\\\

I wake up screaming. I feel someone whispering that everything would be okay. 'Kasumi' I thought relieved. I move closer to her warmth and start to cry. She continued to hold me close, all the while saying that everything would be all right now. 

I just wish I could believe her.

=== Authors note===

To those of you who might not know (because I have neglected to mention this but you might have guessed this by now) what happened to Akane had happened before Ranma and before she learned martial arts. i


	2. What's wrong?

Chapter 2 – What's wrong?

---------Ranma's POV----------

I knew something was wrong with Akane today. I had never seen her that way before. Closing my eyes I could still see how Akane had reacted when I had touched her arm. I could still see the scene so clearly. After I had tried to go after Akane, only Kasumi had stopped me.

------flashback--------

I got up to follow Akane. Something was really wrong with her and I was worried, but when I started to go after her I felt a hand on my arm stopping me. A little startled I turned around and stare at Kasumi. She just shakes her head at my questioning look, not letting go of my arm. As I looked at her I noticed that she wasn't wearing the normal clueless smile. Instead I could see a certain sadness in her gaze as she looked past me to where Akane had been. Something didn't make sense.

"Why" I asked, my confusion written clearly on my face. Kasumi knew something,but for some reason she didn't seem to want to tell me what it was.

"Ranma just leave her for now.*Kasumi blinks when she sees what time it is* Oh my look at how late it is. I promised Dr. Tofu that I would bring him some stew, and I have to go grocery shopping as well. You should leave soon Ranma if you don't want to be late for school."With that Kasumi let go of my arm and went to get ready for her 'grocery shopping'. It didn't help that Nabiki was aiming a warning look that said you better not go against Kasumi or I'll make you eat Akane's cooking for a week.

Grimacing I nodded to her and gave up. I would have to run very fast if I wanted to make it to school on time.

-------end flashback------

Of course I hadn't beat the bell. I'm actually standing outside in the hallway with the bucket of water right now. I was surprised that Akane was at school but then I remembered who I was talking about and snorted. Like that tomboy would let a little thing like tears stop her from acting like anything was wrong. Through the window I could see her talking to her friends and couldn't help but sigh. She seemed fine but just in case I'm wrong I better keep a close watch on her.

------------------

Her screams woke me up. Jumping out from under my cover I raced to Akane's room. When I got there I saw that Kasumi had beat me there. She was holding Akane and whispering something about how everything was okay now. Then she looked up and saw me. When she froze as if not sure how to face a sudden dilemma Akane looked up and looked at what had startled her sister. Of course it just had to be me. Dammit.

As soon as she saw me she started, to my other shock ( you'd think nothing could shock my by now wouldn't you) she started to scream again. 'Why am I the one who always makes a mess out of something' ran through my mind when she opened her mouth. To my surprise ( yet again*sigh*) someone splashed cold water on me. As soon as I changed into a female Akane seemed to calm down again.

'What the hell?' Turning around I saw Nabiki standing behind me with a worried look on her face. 'Dammit why did I seem to be the only one who didn't know what was going on?' I took comfort in the fact that at least my pops didn't know what was going on either. Then I saw him behind Nabiki with Mr.Tendo. He was frowning and shacking his head while talking to Soun about something. The only word I could hear was 'Akane' and 'tragic situation'. 'What the hell?' As if that wasn't enough I noticed that Pchan was standing next to them...... frowning? That's it someone was gonna tell me something and soon or else.


	3. Advice for the foolish: Never forget the...

Is it just me or does no one like this story? Oh well. After this chapter i'll start getting into the story more. Please read and it would be nice if at least one person would review. That's all i'm asking for. Anyway on with the story. (why do we call these things chapters anyway? I mean they're not really long enough to be real chapters.) couldn't think of a better name for the chapter so please bare with me.

-------Nabiki's POV------- 

List of the day 

1. Wake up – normal 

2. Getting ready for school – normal 

3. Eating breakfast with family –normal (well now anyway) 

4. Akane.... – hope its not what i think it is 

5. School – normal – boring 

6. Kuno buys pics. Of ranma-chan and akane.- normal –made 50,000 yen mwahaha! 

7. Home –normal 

8. Counting money before bed – normal 

9. Getting ready for bed – normal 

10. Checking list to see if anything interesting happened today. – normal. 

Sighing I stopped writing and looked out my window. 'It was so beautiful outside', I thought absently. Looking back at my list I circled Akane's name. Frowning I started to think, my pen tapping on the desk. 'What was the matter with her?' My usually strong sister seemed to have disappeared into thin air this mourning. It was time I excepted it. It was his fault and no matter how much I wished that wasn't true I can't just turn back time and change it. With disgust I remembered the way I had acted when I had first met him. I had literally kissed the ground he walked on. He had seemed to be so kind and sophisticated (not to mention loaded). Only Akane had seen him for what he was. Scum, with snake eyes *had to make the story and the title make some sense, right.* 

And only Akane had paid the price..... 

Dammit! It should have been me! I was the one who was always kissing his ass at school. But you really can't change what happened can you. You can only hope it gets better and move on. I remember how mom used to say that to us whenever we were sad. Its just that Akane hadn't deserved that. No one did. I remember Akane had always wanted to help people no matter what the cost was to her. While all I had wanted was money. Stupid money. Evan now I still go after money. What a disgusting person I am. Looking down at my hands I sigh. I still miss her, my saint Akane. 

After that incident Akane had never been the same. She was still kind to people and still tried to help them, only now she held some of herself back.She no longer put her trust in anyone anymore, and she became obsessed with learning martial arts from daddy. When I had asked her why she suddenly wanted to learn the art all she had said was that she never wanted to be put into another situation where she couldn't defend herself. That was the only answer I had needed. I could still remember the two months after the incident. It had taken Akane that long to finally be able to see a boy without screaming and being terrified of him. 

Even daddy wasn't allowed to be seen by her, not even Dr. Tofu was the exception. 

Sighing I closed my eyes and rested my head on my arms. I was a sleep in a few seconds. 

~~~dream~~~ 
__

;What are you doing? 

:Nothing important little one 

;Why are you looking at Akane like that? 

:I was just thinking of a perfect surprise for her. 

;Surprise? Can I help? I love giving people surprises! 

:Sorry little one, but my surprise is a little different than what your thinking. 

;Really? 

:Yes little one, but if you want I can...... 

~~end dream~~ 

Gasping I woke up. His eyes piercing my brain as I looked around, expecting him to be somewhere in my room. 'His eyes,' I thought shivering a little, 'What cold eyes. How could I have never noticed that?' 

Standing up I began to stretch a little easing my aching muscles. It seems I had stayed in the chair for to long. As I was bending down to touch my toes I heard Akane scream. 

Taking off in a dead run all I could think was Toji Morisato strikes again. 

Why didn't it ever seem to end? My sister's pain that is. I had thought she had finally moved on and now this. Why couldn't the sick bastered finally let her go. Let her for once be happy or did he enjoy having her suffer? 

As I reached Akane's room I stopped and remembered Ranma. Akane would freak if she saw a guy right now. Turning around I ran downstairs and got a bucket of cold water. For some reason I had the feeling that it was going to be a long night after all. 

And yet I couldn't help but wonder, why? Why were the dreams coming back now after all this time? 

---------------- 

Next chpt:. The next chpt is called reason and it goes back to Akane's POV.It also answers Nabiki's question. At least it should. Also i'm not sure but am I supposed to have a disclaimer? Just in case, I don't own Ranma ½ or any of the characters. Though I wish Ryoga was mine.-P.S. I'm sorry but I can't spell that well so please ignore any spelling mistakes, but i did finally find a place i can use spell check . why do people always say that not having spell check is not a good reason to spell bad. I guess in a way it is true, only how can you look a word up in the dictionary that you son't even know is spelled wrong?


	4. reason

{hey someone reviewed.hee hee. Thank you Only4yoO. Oh and i made a mistake before. His names toji not tojo. I've decided to keep my original rants 'cause i'm to lazy to write new ones. Well r+R} Wow I finally know what this story is about! Yeah!!! I have a plot!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that thats over to save some stress on my part(schoolwork never ends) I figure I'll update once or twice every week, You know one of lifes major ironies is that nothing is original anymore. It just depends on how you tell it. Please r+r and i've gotten rid of the whole you have to sign in thing just to review, i really hate that thing you know.Well enjoy. I know what I'm talking about now instead of floating around aimlessly 0_0

Also thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I guess I might not have gotten this far without your support. Thats sort of sad......but thanks again.

Chapter 4 – Reason

Akane's POV

------------------------

I'm such a coward.

I could hear Kasumi talking to Ranma in the hall. She had finally decided to leave my side to explain to Ranma why Nabiki had turned thrown the cold water on him. They had left me alone in my room. The door was closed, so I couldn't see what was happening on the other side. Alone, I was alone again, only this time it was my family that was keeping me out.

I could feel the pain back, only now it was worse. Slowly getting up I walk to the window. I had to leave here. I could feel the walls closing in around me. Getting smaller and smaller........'Oh my god, I'm starting to cry again.' I felt the tears start to form in my eyes. Was I really this weak? Yet I felt as if something was broken inside. As if I was broken. Opening the window, my hands shaking, I turn and look around my room for a moment. I can still hear the voices talking on the other side as I stare at my bed. The room looked so........clean. Turning around again I climb out of my room and jump down onto the street. I start walking not paying much attention to where I'm going. Then I heard the squall.

Startled I turn around and stare as a small black pig jumps into my arms.

"P...P....P...Pchan?"

Looking up at me he just waited. For what I don't know. Looking at his eyes I realized that this was the first time I had ever actually looked at Pchan, really looked. As I stared into his eyes I felt oddly comforted as I saw the understanding in his eyes. Which was ridiculous since he was a pig and probably couldn't understand anything I said to him, but right now I didn't care. It was almost as if he knew what I was going through and would try to stay with me until it was over.

Holding him close I start walking again. All the while his face kept flashing in front of my eyes. His smiling face.......

I hadn't told the others about what had happened two days ago. I had seen him....standing by a water fountain looking at me. Squeezing Pchan closer I let my tears fall. No one was here to see anyway. Bending my head I cried as I walked. His face never leaving me. I remember the exact moment I had noticed him. It had been on my way home. I had left Ranma to fend for himself while he dealed with his harem. I could still remember how angry I had been at him. Its all so petty isn't it.I had been complaining about Ranma under my breath and then out of no where he appears. Holding a yellow flower. I remember telling him that my favorite flower was a yellow rose. 

When I had seen him I just froze. Everything he had done to me flashed in front of my eyes as I watched him. Then he had started to walk towards me and I just ran. Ran without a thought. I could still see how he had looked at me. As if he had found a lost plaything he wanted back. I'm so stupid. Why had I run? I could've taken him on. It was just he........

Pchan started to make a noise. Looking up I noticed I was by the water fountain I had seen him by before. Holding Pchan tighter I start to turn around and go back, my tears dried up. Then I noticed something from the corner of my eye. Turning around I see him......smiling. And I just freeze.

-------------------(third person) 

Kasumi opens the door. She had finally convinced Ranma that he should stay in girl form, for Akane's sake at least. 

"Oh my," Looks around the empty room and sees the open window.'This can't be good.'

----------------

Next Chpt: Ranma's point of view. No name as of now. And hopefully i will give Toji a last name. I'm just not sure about what it should be. Maybe something starting with a 'k'. Well see ya later! 


	5. a short break, that or a rather long aut...

Chapter 5 - A short respite from the depression.

Authors note:

To Leigh, yeah this is for you. An answer that will probably tell you nothing, but seeing as I wrote this when I was half awake you will prabably understand.*I'm going to start to call Akane Akan from now on sometimes okay.0_0* Also keep in mind I wrote this at 2 something last night and this has nothing to do with the regular story.

*sniff* Why do you want me to kill anyone*sniff*? Now thanks to you I'm going to end up insanely killing everyone off. I can see it now. Toji goes on a mass killing spree. Better yet he's a vampire*mwhaha*. The scene opens with Akane skipping down the road. Its a dark and stormy night*like we havn't heard that before* Then out of nowhere*the shadows* Toji appears. "Toji"Akane gasps. "I've come to suck your blood*in that wierd accented voice*" Toji grabs her. "Toji! No!" Akan wails as he sinks his teeth into her neck. The wind blows and you see a tumbleweed pass by. Then Toji lets go of Akan's body and she dropps to the floor. Her bloodless lips move and form the word 'Toji' then her lifeless body stills. Toji laughs maniacally.-end scene.

Scene 2- Toji is still laughing. Ranma appears out of nowhere with a stake and stakes Toji in the heart. Toji turns into dust, but not before scratching Ranma with his claws. Which happen to be poisonous with an incurable poison.-end scene 2.

Scene 3 – The rest of the Ranma group stare at the graves of Akane and Ranma. (They are side by side.) Genma can be seen with tears running down his face.(Nabiki can be seen selling Toji's ashes to Kuno.) Genma crys out 'Ranma', while Soun crys out 'Akane'. The together they say 'Now our schools will never be joined together.' The sky is sadly sunny as the group cries.- end scene 3.

Scene 4 -*okay this may be overkill, but who cares, right.*The ground moves in front of Akan's grave.(It's night out.) Soon we see a hand appear. Then Akane climbs out of her coffin and laughs. The sun, unfortunately, chooses that moment to rise and Akan is turned to dust, but not before she says one word,'Damn'- end scene 4.

Sorry for this, but I just couldn't resist. Maybe I should do something like this for my next story, eh.*laughs evilly* Now you've got me started. Next thing you know Ill have Pchan become a killer pig - been affected by the deadly monocrotousterastoname virus *what?* that only pigs get (yet Ranma gets affected by it later on. Will wonders never cease.0_0) that drive them mad and blood crazy(hungry?). Hmm.........

*what do you guys think? That actually sounds like alot of fun...0_0)


	6. Confusion for the blind

Wow! Its amazing how your mind can change so fast. I was just getting ready to change everything, when I read it and realized that I actually liked what I had written. Well I haven't really changed anything so if you've already read this chapter you can just skip it, but I did change my author's note, so please read that. Well don't forget to read but it's okay if you don't review, I hate reviewing sometimes too.0_0 hope you guys continue to read my story, this is starting to become really fun!

Chapter 6 – Confusion for the blind

Akane's POV

--------------

This can't be happening.

Those words kept replaying in mind. I couldn't see his face clearly, the night's shadows covered him, but that smile. I would never forget that smile.

In my arms I felt Pchan begin to squirm. Relief washed over me even in my paniced state. Pchan would protect me. Pchan would........abandon me to the enemy......

He jumped out of my arms and ran to Toji.

"Ryoge," I heard Toji say surprised. "I've been so worried about you! What had happened? I..."blah blah blah. What the hell is going on here!?

Even as terrified as I am I can still get angry. I guess I just learned something new about myself. I really am possesive. Still something wasn't right. Toji would never act like this. He always seem to act as if he was to good to act normal. He was just to charming and....fake. It just didn't make any sence why he would be any different now.

Looking at Toji more closely I noticed that he looks younger than I remember him being. Like he was around my age or a year younger. He was also wearing a torn sweatshirt and pants. Toji would never be caught dead in anything like that. Frowning I looked at his face as he bent to pick up Pchan. My breath caught. He looked exactly like Toji only....he didn't at the same time. Relaxing a little I sighed. Now that I really looked at him I could tell that he wasn't really Toji. Though the resemblance was uncanny.

Wait a second, I could feel my possesive feelings start to kick in again, how does he know Pchan? A little jealous I feel my anger start to build. Why was Pchan giving him so much attention? I don't know why but for some reason I really wanted to grab Pchan and run. Before I hurt Toji...uh..the stranger. Which was silly. Why was I feeling like this anyway? Maybe its because of the resemblance to Toji but I..I..just wanted him to stay away from my Pchan!

No longer afraid and found myself yelling "hey" at the boy. He broke off what he was saying to Pchan and looked at me as if he had just noticed me there.

"Who are you?" I glared at him as he held Pchan in his arms. It didn't help that Pchan didn't seem to object to it.

"Me? Oh! I'm Toji Akamibawa. I'm sorry for ignoring you, but I hadn't seen you there, and its been so long since I last saw Ryoge...."

I didn't hear the rest of his words. Everything seemed to fade away and only the fear remained. It couldn't be a concidence, could it. The same face, the same name...Wait. Did he say Akamibawa? What the hell? Why would Toji suddenly lie about his last name? I..don't understand....why was this happening now?

---

Ranma's POV --- *see I hadn't lied.* 

---------

"Stupid tomboy! Now where did she go?"

As much as I hated to admit it, I was really worrierd about her. In the state of mind she had been in she wasn't fit to be outside right now. Not to mention it was dark out and she could end up lost. Then there was Ryoga. Where the hell had he run off to anyway? Dammit where was Akane!?

'Akane......' 

---------------------- 

Author's note ---- Why is everyone so mean!! So far no one has even tried to email me to show me how to get my words to be in italic here. I really need to know, expecally if I want the last part of my Gravi fic to work(you have to read it to understand what I'm talking about). So pleaseeeeeeeeee help me. *sniff* I'm not asking for much you know.

P.S. If you've read this thank you!! *sniff*****you really do care! I'm so happy!0_0


	7. The Story of My Life

****

Spoilers: I never really thought about it but I guess if you haven't seen any of the episodes with or having any conection to Pchan, than I've been giving you a spoiler for a long time now.*hee hee* Other than that I guess this has practicly nothing to do with the Ranma ½ show, which sadly I don't own*don't have enough money=boohoo=*( no I haven't finished my Gravi story, but I'm in a rut and had a great idea for this story*sigh*so don't be surprised if I update this week then don't for a month or something, I'm just in such a good mood today and want to write this down while its still in my head.* Don't forget to read 0_0, reviews are wanted too!

Chapter 7 – The Story of My Life

Toji's POV

-----

Weird, that girl was staring at me as if I was going to reach out and eat her. Looking down at the small bundle in my arms I can't help but sigh in relief. I had been so worried that something bad had happened to him, which was silly since I knew he could take care of himself. But I could worry from time to time couldn't I. Holding him closer I look back at the girl. Thats funny but she reminds me of someone.......

"Akane!!!! Where are you!"

Startled I look at where the sound was coming from. It sounded as if somebody was looking for someone named Akane*well duh!*. If I missed my guess I would say it was a girl, who was obviously a very good martial artist. Looking at the girl in frount of me I can see that I was apparently not the only one who was surprised, though I had a feeling she was the one the other girl was looking for. Don't ask me why, but ever since I was little I have always been able to just know something about a person. All I have to do is hear their voice and I just felt something and can understand something about that person. It was weird though, that girl who was looking for this Akane person felt...odd. Like they weren't really a girl, but something else. Frowning a little I look at Ryoge again than the girl. Did they know each other? Wait she had said Pchan...then that means she's...

"Akane! What the heck are you doing! Wondering around at this hour. Everybody's worried about you! You stupid idiot!"

Smack!

"Idiot! IDIOT!Who the hell do you think you are Ranma! All I did was go out for some fresh air and then out of nowhere you show up yelling at me! You....eh.."

I think she finally noticed me again. It was kind of cute how she became all embarrassed. Looking at her more closely I can tell she's a martial artist, but not as good as the odd girl. She had a stronge aura and looked like she could be very stubborn, I could see why Ryoge liked her so much. Her heart was pure, only I sensed a dark cloud cover it. I wonder what had happened to her. Watching her and the odd girl, Ranma I believe her name was, I could also see they were very close. Interesting.....

"Uh... I..Ranma you jerk! I can't believe that would do this to me"

"What? What the hell are you talking about Akan? Huh?*notices Toji and Pchan*Hey who are you?"

Ranma put his body between me and Akane almost as of to protect her form me. Yes this was very interesting. 

" So I take it you guys are close?" You would think this would be a innocent question. Aparently these two didn't think so. People are so fun to watch. There actions, there words, people are just so...whats the word...oh yes thats it....funny, they're just so funny.

"Close!! No way as if I would ever be close to a pervert like him."

"Yeah! Who wants an uncute girl like her. Hey wait who are you calling a pervert!"

"YOU IDIOT!"

"Why you..."

I couldn't help it. I just started laughing. They were just so cute. When they saw me laughing at them they started to glare at me. Atleast Ranma did. Akane just...fainted.

-----

Akane's POV

------------

I felt cold water hitting my face. Startled I jump up my mind still foggy. Is this what it feels like to you Ranma when I wake you up in the morning? Why that was the first thing I thought of I don't know, or maybe I just don't want to know. Blinking I look around. I was laying on something cold...the floor? What had happened? The last thing I remembered was argueing with Ranma and....Toji. He had been laughing at us. I had turned to glare at him when I had seen his face again. Shivering I hug myself. Why did they seem to look so much alike? It hurt just to look at him. Whenever I did I saw Him. It felt as if he was right there...laughing at me. Why did everything seem so cold? Oh, I forgot, I'm wet aren't I? Where was I again? 

"Are you okay?'

Looking up I can see him. Flinching I turn and see Ranma's worried face. When had he gotten here? Oh yeah, we had been argueing before I had past out, so of course he would be here. Wait I passed out. Frowning I look back at....Toji...and see Pchan is still in his arms. What? Sighing I rest my head on my hand. I can't deal with this right now.

"Akane?"

Hmm. I better say something. Ranma sounds really worried.

"Oh, I'm fine, I...what happened?"

"Akane you fainted."

"What?'

"What happened Akan?"

Wow Ranma really was worried.

"I don't know? I guess when I saw Toji smilling he reminded me of someone who doesn't leave me with very pleasent memories."

"I remind you of someone?"

"Yeah you look just like him, only younger, and it doesn't help that you both have the same first name.."

Toji sighs then looks down at Pchan again.

"I see. His last name wouldn't happen to be Morisato would it?"

"What?"

"I was afraid of that.*very grim expression* You see he's my older brother."

---

Autor's Note = confused? 'cause I sure am. 


	8. Whats one lie between friends?

Notes: Hi everyone. Have you missed me? Its been so long since i last updated hasn't it. Sorry. Promise to update much much faster this time. Ne does anyone like this format better than what i used to do. It's less messier this way.

Thanks: Thank you everyone who has reviewed and read this story and special thanks to animecartoons for always reviewing and jookiemagick and Only4yoO for reminding me that people actually read this story.

Disclaimer: this doesn't even deserve to be asked. Yeah I own Ranma ½. Thats why i'm sitting here writting fanfics and have no money. Sure i own Ranma.

Warnings: Contains refences to rape and mild cursing. Plus some bad spelling (sorry).

__

blah = flashbacks

~~~~~~~~~

Tears of Reality: It never goes away

Chapter 8 – Whats one lie between friends?

Toji's POV

" Why'd you lie to her?"

I looked up at the boy standing at the door. He wore a yellow with black bandana on his head. At his feet his backpack rested with a red bambo umbrella. Feeling ashamed I look away. After I had told Akan that Toji was my brother she had past out again. I wonder what she would have done if I had told her the truth. The truth about me and...Toji. No, I've caused enough pain as it is. In the state she's in now she wouldn't be able to handle the truth. At least not yet.

I look away from her pale face, she really is quite beatiful ( but I guess I shouldn't expect less if Toji did what I think he did to her), to the figure huddled next to her. Sighing a little I feel relieved, he had finally fallen asleep. Looking back at Ryoga I hug myself. I wish I could hold Ryoge right now. 

I remember when I had first met him. It had been a few years back but it felt like it had only happened yesterday. I had been walking down a hill when suddenly I heard a noise.........

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Hearing the noise again I look around and see something lying tangled in a bush. What the...? Moving closer to it I reach out and poke it. Nothing. Poke poke poke. Still nothing. Okay now I'm worried. Picking it up gently I realize its a little black pigglet. Okay....

Running I race back to the hot springs I had just past by. Maybe if I poured some water on it it'll wake up. Sure that usually refers to cold water but you have to do with what you have right. Seeing the steam I run faster. I hope this works. Stopping to take a deep breathe I lift the black pig and throw it into the water. Nothing. Err....maybe this was a bad idea.

"Aii!!!!!"

Bursting out of the water is a naked young man. Wierd...

Smiling at the memory I stand up. Then I remember the sitution. " How could I tell her the truth? What did you expect me to say. Hey Akane Toji's my other half my yin you could say. Were kind of the same person, but I hope you won't hold his actions against me. Even though I am partly responsible. Lets be friends. Yeah she'd love that."

Pushing past him I go outside. Strange how you never really pay attention to the little things in life. Like the trees, a smile, tears. Not until you realize something to late. Can someone blame you for a crime you didn't comit yet because of you it happened? I wish so many things. Mostly to finally die. We've lived to long, Toji and I. Sigh. Now I'm talking noncence again. Stopping by a river I stare off into space. Yin and yang. I have spent my whole life chasing after my yang because of my foolish mistake, or is he my yin.

"Hello Kas."[1]

Stiffening I look down at my reflection in the water and see him grinning at me. 

"It's been such a long time hasn't it. Are you still trying to save those 'poor victims' as you call them? Why don't you give up. You know as well as I that without them-"

"Shut up!"

"Foolish boy you still haven't learned yet have you. You can't save her you know. It's already to late."

Next to his face appeared Akane's sleeping one. No. He couldn't have moved this fast already. Then both images dissapeared. Falling to my knees I feel myself begin to shake. I was to late after all. Too too late. 

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Yin and yang. What a silly superstition. I'll show everyone. Just you wait and see.

Kas! Wait! Your not allowed to enter the ca-

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An/ Er..... I hadn't planed for this chapter to be like this. I'm just in hurry. Sorry if it doesn't make sence. I'll try to make the next chapter make more sence. Gods i'm tired these days.

[1] well i've been thinking and if i ever plan on have the two 'toji's' meet what am i going to do. Say toji number 1 and 2. Or have tojim and toji o or something. So this way you can tell them apart easier. Kas was this toji's old name before the 'incident'. *sigh* maybe i'll rewrite this chapter next time i update.

*snort* 


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